"Looks like they turned on me!" -- What's the count up to on the number of people that have turned on John for no reason?
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Nothing screams MENSA more than this picture....
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Reposting a Barnesand Noobs masterpiece....So good!
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"Dear Abby: Our nephew placed 3rd in his group home's art show and now thinks he's a real artist. How do we let him down gently?"
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Earlier today I took a shot at John that I now regret. Yes, his ex is married to a master woodworker who apparently does fantastic work. But that shouldn't take away from John's own artistic talents and creations. I'd like to take a moment to recognize his genius.
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Nice post by John's ex celebrating the craftsmanship and thoughtfulness of her new husband. It made me feel bad for John though. I mean, seriously, how many times did she publicly celebrate John's talents and what a nice guy he is?
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It's been a rough 6 years for John. Gave up on LA, realized selling Real Estate required actual work, had his HS transcripts and court docs revealed, lost his hair, and had his true personality exposed via DA. Karma is indeed a muthaf*cker.
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Massapequa Fats got dem Cape Coral Blues: The number of homes for sale there has dramatically increased in 2025, reaching its highest level in over a decade. A significant percentage of homes (around 66% in May 2025) are selling below their asking price!
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"DEAR ABBY- Is it wrong for someone to put their 88 year-old mom in a home so they can sell her house while the market is hot? She's in good health. They just need money. Asking for a friend".
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Who wore the Gingerbread Glam hair dye better?
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It's been 10 years since John ghosted Suzanner and his kids for 7 months with ZERO in spousal/child support. Isn't time for them to quit being babies and make up with The Duke? I mean, seriously, how hungry or scared could they have been?
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What a difference a year makes! In 2025 we're supposed to believe John is a student of politics and listen to his views on Trump. In 2024 he was badgering Kate's mom online like an unhinged lunatic. Which one's the real John Melendez?
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Which John will show up to this show on Long Island? I'm guessing it's the balding, flabby version wearing a shitty T-shirt and pants that he steps on when he walks....
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"DEAR ABBY: My estranged son doesn't want me to come to parents weekend at Harvard. I think he's making a big mistake because I'm a world famous entertainer who would impress Harvard faculty and the other parents. Knowing that father always knows best, do I just show up anyway?"
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WOKE JOHN: Anti-bullying organizations often list "pussy boy" alongside explicitly homophobic slurs like "f*g" or "f*ggot" in the context of homophobic bullying. Are you proud of all the videos online where you use this awful term repeatedly?
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Shemp and Shrimp
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Did you know that John was the star of his first grade play and was once punched by Raquel Welch?
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"I'm a local newswoman who recently interviewed a has-been celebrity on my morning talk show. Now he's dm'ing me constantly about going to some pub and pushing free tickets to a dumb comedy show. Ugh! What should I do?"
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Nice 1990's Stern flex douchebag: "He was a very close friend. I was in his inner circle. Like, I would have dinner with Ozzy Osborne....."
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The look you make when the TV interviewer informs you that Jay Leno was just in Cape Coral....
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SERIOUS QUESTION: Is there a separate day where deadbeat fathers get recognized?
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JOHN - War in the Middle East, ICE protests, and so many more huge new stories, and you (the self-professed political pundit) are begging online and performing like a circus monkey on cameo. Why aren't news shows calling you to be on their panels??
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"Is it possible for someone to be an online panhandler? I have an uncle with no talent, and who provides no service, but constantly asks strangers online for money. What advice can you give me?"
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"Abrasive and obnoxious personalities prevent people from forming and maintaining positive, lasting relationships that lead to a robust professional network over time. Often this also leads to an inability to maintain lasting personal relationships..."
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"When someone feels insecure or unhappy with their present life, they might cling to past glories or exaggerated achievements to feel more significant. Name-dropping is a way to escape their current reality. .."
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